By Pastor Edwin H. Binder
Understanding the Institution of Marriage
God instituted marriage to help man and to serve man. God knew man would
be lonely, and God knew man would need a suitable companion that He called “a
helpmate.” Consider the account of creation in Genesis. When
creation was complete; God brought all the animals to Adam. Adam named the
animals, but a worthy companion for Adam could not be found. There was
something missing. Every living creature up to that point was made from
the ground, but God made the woman from man. Adam now had a mate that was
made by God, but she was part of Adam. Please consider two things about
the creation of woman. First she was formed from man after the rest of
God’s creation was complete. Second, God made no change to Adam except the
removal of the rib. God did not have to add a “sex organ” to Adam when He
made woman; she was part of God’s plan from the beginning.
NKJ Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be
alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." 19 Out of the ground the
LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought
them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each
living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the
birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not
found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to
fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh
in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into
a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of
my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken
out of Man." 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined
to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the
man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Jesus was tested by the Pharisees. (Old Testament scholars who were
considered masters of God’s Law. The Pharisees despised Jesus, and they
were seeking an opportunity to eliminate Him. Paul was a Pharisee.)
When the Pharisees questioned Jesus concerning marriage and divorce, Jesus
answered their test by quoting from the First Book of Moses, that is, Jesus
quoted these verses in Genesis:
NKJ Mark 10:6 "But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and
female.' 7 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, 8 'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no
longer two, but one flesh. 9 "Therefore what God has joined together, let not
man separate."
God made Eve as a gift for Adam, and it is important that we take some time to
think about these few verses. God created the entire world, and He
populated it with all the animals. The sun, the moon, the planets, birds,
animals, vegetation, oceans and rivers, and Adam were all made before God made
the woman. God gave Adam everything in the universe, however, Adam was not
able to be complete. To make man complete, God gives him a wife. And
make no mistake, God gives us men the gift of a wife that is suitable for us!
In these verses God says the two become one flesh. We usually consider
that to be interpreted as consummation of the marriage, but it goes far beyond
the physical. Marriage is spiritual as well as physical. To properly
understand marriage we must read some of what Paul says in his letters to the
Church. We will examine what Paul says, and apply what we find to a proper
understanding of Genesis 2:24 and Genesis 2:25.
PAUL’S TEACHINGS CONCERNING MARRIAGE
We begin with perhaps the most misrepresented verses in the New Testament.
Paul is instructing us to consider our marriage to be a constant reminder of our
relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ. Throughout Scripture there are
references to marriage. In the New Testament a marriage theme is carried
throughout. Christ is the Bridegroom, and the Church is the bride.
This should help us to properly understand what Paul is trying to teach us in
the following verses:
NKJ Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For
the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is
the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He
might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He
might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands
ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves
himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,
just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His
flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This
is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself,
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthians discussing sexual immorality and
gluttonous behavior. Understanding what Paul said in his letter can enrich
our understanding of marriage. The Corinthians separated physical things,
and spiritual things. Paul is teaching them that we Christians belong to
God, and the Holy Spirit dwells within us. Food is gratifying and
essential for life, and when the Corinthians became hungry, they ate.
Following the same logic, whenever the Corinthians craved sex, they indulged
themselves. Paul is teaching the Corinthians to glorify God in all they
do. Before we read Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, take a moment to
consider why God allows man to dwell on this earth.
God created each and every one of us to bring glory to Him. How can we
bring glory to the God who created everything? We bring Him glory by
loving and obeying Him. Every time we are tempted or consider pursuing
worldly pleasures, and instead we turn away from sin and look to obeying God—GOD
IS GLORIFIED! Now we can consider the letter Paul wrote to correct sexual
misunderstandings among the Corinthians.
NIV 1 Corinthians 7:1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man
not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his
own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his
marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's
body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the
husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not
deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may
devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not
tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession,
not as a command. 7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own
gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried and
the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they
cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to
burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):
A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain
unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce
his wife. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife
who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce
her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to
live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been
sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified
through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as
it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A
believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to
live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or,
how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Paul was not married, and he considered a wife to be a distraction from the
urgent business God gave him to complete. Most of us are strengthened by
marriage, and Paul certainly understood that to be true. God brings a man
and a woman together in marriage, and they must join together and serve each
other. Paul is telling the Corinthians that as long as the man and wife
continue to serve the other’s physical desires and needs, there is no room for
Satan to divide them with the temptations and lusts of this world.
SEXUAL IMMORALITY
Many a marriage has been destroyed because of sexual immorality. Sexual
relations are a gift of God, but that gift is intended to be shared between
husband and wife. Paul wrote many things concerning this subject, but we
will consider a few verses he wrote to the Corinthians. First we will
examine Paul’s message of immoral conduct outside of marriage; then we will
consider the message of sex between a husband and wife.
NIV 1 Corinthians 6:12 "Everything is permissible for me"-- but not everything
is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"-- but I will not be mastered
by anything. 13 "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"-- but God will
destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the
Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the
dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members
of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a
prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a
prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one
flesh." 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 18
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body,
but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your
body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from
God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God
with your body.
LOVE
As the wedding approaches, we think about the word love. We consider how
much we love each other, but do we understand what the Scriptures tell us about
love? One of the most awesome verses is recorded in the Apostle John’s
letter to the Church.
NIV 1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love
does not know God, because God is love.
God is love! King Solomon gave us a dissertation on working together
including this verse:
NKJ Ecclesiastes 4:12 ... And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
A threefold cord consists of man, woman, and love (God is love). A
marriage that includes God is impossible to break.
WISDOM AND MARRIAGE
The entire Bible is like a fine tapestry. You cannot take any piece out of
a tapestry without destroying it. Each thread is woven with the next to
present a picture for us to see. It is that way with God’s Word. We
cannot take any part of it by itself, but we must understand that it all fits
together to show us God. Knowing that, we should consider a few more
verses that help us see marriage as God intends for us to see it. These
verses help us to understand the teaching of Paul in Ephesians Chapter Five
above. King Solomon left us a book of the Bible called Ecclesiastes, which
is translated “Preacher.” King Solomon wrote this book as he approached
the end of his journey through life. He was the wisest man that ever was
or ever would be (1 Kings 3:11-12). King Solomon tells us that there is
strength and comfort in having a partner for a journey. Consider that this
life is a journey. It begins with our birth, and it ends when we are
called home to heaven. King Solomon offers his wisdom.
NKJ Ecclesiastes 4:8 There is one alone, without companion: He has neither son
nor brother. Yet there is no end to all his labors, Nor is his eye satisfied
with riches. But he never asks, "For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?"
This also is vanity and a grave misfortune. 9 Two are better than one, Because
they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up
his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to
help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how
can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can
withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
A threefold cord is not quickly broken applies to marriage. God, man, and
woman are the three cords. We gain strength from each other, and we gain
strength from God.
NKJ Psalm 128:3 Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of
your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table.
Consider a few verses from Israel’s King Solomon given to us in his book named
Ecclesiastes. King Solomon was an old man when he wrote the book, and in
Hebrew it is titled “The Preacher.” King Solomon is trying to give us the
lessons he learned in life. You’ve probably heard some of these words
before. This chapter of Scripture is often quoted. What King Solomon
is telling us is that life is always changing.
NKJ Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose
under heaven:
2 A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
8 A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.
9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the
God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. 11 He has made
everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts,
except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. 12
I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their
lives, 13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all
his labor -- it is the gift of God.
When Solomon was made King of Israel, he asked God to give him the wisdom to
govern the people. God gave him the wisdom he requested, and King Solomon
wrote three books of our Old Testament (Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of
Solomon) to pass that wisdom on to whoever seeks true wisdom.
NKJ 1 Kings 3:11 Then God said to him: "Because you have asked this thing, and
have not asked long life for yourself, nor have asked riches for yourself, nor
have asked the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding
to discern justice, 12 "behold, I have done according to your words; see, I have
given you a wise and understanding heart, so that there has not been anyone like
you before you, nor shall any like you arise after you.
Consider some of Solomon’s Proverbs. To enrich your appreciation of
Solomon’s writings, we must understand that King Solomon was the wisest of the
wise. Solomon’s wisdom was God’s gift.
If a wife is a gift from God (and I believe this to be true), then it certainly
would not please God if that man casts her aside in her older age and the man
seeks a new wife on his own. The vow you will make before the Lord says
“Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in
health, and, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her, so long as you both
shall live?” What does King Solomon say? He says stay with the wife
of your youth—the one God gave you—and stay away from your neighbor’s wife!
NKJ Proverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of
your youth.
NKJ Proverbs 6:29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whoever touches
her shall not be innocent.
It has been said that behind every good man stands a woman. I find that to
be true. But we must also understand that the woman can ruin a good man.
No one on this planet can make me feel more powerful or happier than my wife.
And no one can make me feel more sad or more worthless than my wife.
Apparently Solomon understood this. Here is more of his wisdom.
NKJ Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who
causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
NKJ Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor
from the LORD.
NKJ Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions
of a wife are a continual dripping.
NKJ Proverbs 19:14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a
prudent wife is from the LORD.
NKJ Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above
rubies.
NKJ Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of
your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity;
for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the
sun.